Wednesday, February 22, 2017

hypocrite

when: yesterday  |  where: work  |  weather: 70 and rainy

This post has been on my heart for a while now. You see, I've been a hypocrite. The whole point of this space has been to celebrate your shape, but I've been doing one heck of a poor job of it lately. When I lost weight last year it was so easy to be happy with my looks, happy with how I was presenting myself and happy telling others to be happy with themselves. (Whew, that's a lot of happy!) But, as I'm sure you've noticed in recent photos, I've gained the weight back. Lately it's been so hard to look at myself and like what I see. I find myself criticizing my reflection, hating the way I look in photos. In fact, I almost didn't post today's set because I didn't like what I saw, and was embarrassed to show you all what I look like now. But then I had a light bulb moment - wasn't that the whole reason I originally started blogging? To learn how to dress and be confident in myself, no matter what size? So, okay, I look different than I did last year, and I can't say I'm pleased with the weight gain, but it's time to remember/relearn to be happy in my own skin.

I could throw the blame around all day long as to why I've gained weight - months of stress at work, trying to sell our house, poor eating habits, just struggling with work/life balance and forgetting the importance or self care. But at the end of the day, it doesn't change any thing.

I've decided to say screw it, I'm going to do my best to look good anyway. I refuse to wallow in my self-imposed misery any longer. This is the current, curvier me. :)

dress: J. Crew Factory (exact)  |  cardigan: J. Crew Factory (exact)  |  boots: hunter (exact)  |  necklace: Kendra Scott (exact)  |  earrings: Stella and Dot (similar)  |  watch: Fossil (similar)  |  bracelet: Bourbon and Boweties (exact)

So to everyone who takes the time to visit, comment and read this space, I feel like I owe you a great big apology. I promise to be more authentic, posting pictures of the current me in all my curvy glory. I promise to be kinder to myself as I work toward a healthier lifestyle and go back to the roots of this blog: love the body you have through thick and thin. :)


//  Sharing on What I Wore. //

25 comments:

  1. erin, you have quickly become one of my favorite style blogs. there's only so much kardashian budget, thigh gapped, gorrrrrgeous creatures one person can look at without feeling bitter or inferior. you are real style, real budget, real life, real figure, and i neeeeed to see more of real life inspiration for my own sense of self. thank you! keep it up, and don't sensor yourself!
    b

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    1. Thank you so much for the sweet compliments! My favorite blogs are the everyday real girls blogs too. It's too hard to keep up with all the fake perfection!

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  2. I had no idea that I would one day be interested in fashion blogs, I somehow stumbled upon your blog just awhile ago and am hooked!! I LOVE that you are honest, it's refreshing...and I will say, that looking through all of your blog posts has been inspiring, not only because of what you put together but in how your confidence shines through. I truly am feeling better about MYSELF because of how you just exude confidence and style. I really, really, really appreciate what you are doing...we all fluctuate when it comes to weight. Maybe someday I will be confident enough to post a full length picture of myself! :) Anyways, the reason I'm reading, is because your honest, real and truly inspiring!

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    1. I wasn't interested in fashion blogs either until I discovered Franish (I think it was through someone's link on Facebook) which lead to me going through all her posts, which then lead to finding other bloggers, which eventually lead to starting my own space. I think the more pictures I take (well that my sweet husband takes) the more confident I've gotten. Even little things like how to pose so my chin it's quite so doubled, but a lot of it is just getting used to seeing yourself in pictures. There's was definitely a time when there was no freaking way I was going to post a full-length picture of myself, but I really wanted to see more blogs with average, fuller-figured ladies so I decided to take the leap and put myself out there. I can't say I regret it!

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  3. Meant 'you're' not 'your' up there!! Haha! :)

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  4. Oh Erin stay exactly as you are sweetheart you are gorgeous and one of my favourite bloggers and I love your posts especially when you wear your shiny Hunter Wellingtons which are a favourite of mine.
    Julie
    xoxo

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    1. Hunters are the best! Sadly we haven't had much rain lately, so I always try to bust them out when we get a bit of the wet stuff! :)

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  5. Please keep doing what you're doing! You look amazing, and your looks are inspiring!

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    1. Thank you so much! I think we're often our own worst critics, so it's nice to hear what I've been putting out there is appreciated. :)

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  6. I think you look beautiful. Your blog is one of my favorites because you are real and honest. Thank you for representing real women.

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    1. Awww....thank you so much! I try to keep it as real as possible on here, my favorite fashion blogs are the ones with real people living everyday lives, so I try to stick to what I love!

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  7. Erin, I absolutely love your blog. It is one of the only ones I subscribe to. I have a similar body shape to you, and it so refreshing to see a beautiful, stylish lady that is an in-betweenie like me :) Love you! Keep up the good work!

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    1. Hooray for the in-betweenies! And thank you for the sweet compliments!

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  8. I'm a new reader, and I love your relatability! Stay true to you, no matter what size it is! I'll be sticking around!

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    1. Thanks Kristin! I'm so glad you found this space. :)

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  9. You look beautiful! I love your blog and your personal style, and I haven't even noticed a difference. Keep doing what you do :)

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    1. Thank Julie, you're so sweet! I thought it the weight gain was super obvious, but we really are our own worst critics. :)

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  10. I love love your outfit combinations and find I bookmark so many of them on Instagram for my own inspiration! I love your style and take on fashion. Please do not stop inspiring others.

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    1. Thanks Sara, you're reminding me I need to be better about posting on Instagram...it really is my favorite social media format. :)

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  11. Thanks for being real with us. I feel similarly about myself sometimes, but we need to see style for every shape and size!

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    1. It's so true. I think I have about three wardrobes in my closet right now...one for smaller me, one for average me and one for bigger me (my current state). The benefit: lots to work with no matter what size, the downside? Trying ton figure out where to stuff all those clothes!

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  12. I would absolutely not say "hypocrite" here... I'd say you're a human! It's always so much easier to encourage positive self-image in others than to really allow ourselves grace and self-love, isn't it? They're not happy feelings to grapple with, which does rather suck, but I so appreciate your keeping it real and sharing your whole thought process here. I hope you are able to embrace feeling happy in your own skin, and I know that reading this will help ladies of all kinds be inspired to do the same. And also I love this dress on you in your signature pattern!

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    1. Human does sound a bit better than hypocrite. :) But I was feeling so bad about telling people to feel great about themselves when I myself was tearing myself down daily; I felt like it was time to come clean! I am such a sucker for polka dots, I keep hoping one day I'll find that perfect teal and polka dotted dress...

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  13. That sweater looks so be so comfy! Your photos are so cute … such a good location for a shoot! Techlazy.com Howmate.com Crazyask.com

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