Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Soapbox


You'll have to forgive me because I'm going to step on my soapbox for a moment.

If you are familiar with my blog, you know I struggle with weight and one of the main reasons I started blogging was to learn how to embrace myself, no matter what size, so I can demonstrate a positive body image to my daughter. I believe it is our responsibility as women to uplift and support one another and not tear each other down. Let me clarify by stating that I am NOT talking about the people I've connected with online, because everyone has been so positive and supportive and I'm beyond grateful and appreciative.

This weekend I had a very close female family member criticize my appearance and be so bold as to ask me what I'm eating, do I have a thyroid problem, and told my husband, and I quote, "she looks terrible." She wanted to know if I've even lost any of the baby weight, why wasn't I working harder to lose it, and as the icing on the cake, told me that my hair looks bad now that I've cut it. Who does that? I guess she felt she had the right because she is family? So maybe I do look different after having a baby, and maybe my hair did look better long (but it was super damaged), but to say it to my face like I'm an idiot without access to a mirror...

Even when I asked her to stop, she insisted on the conversation. The more I think about it, the angrier I get. Not because she basically called me fat, though that seriously is annoying, but because I believe our roles as mothers, as women, it to support, to encourage, to guide. Not to criticize and belittle.

I think she meant it as concern, but it didn't come off that way.

Perhaps this is a lesson for me about how I want to relate to my daughter and how to talk to her.
 
I'm not really expecting a response to my rant, I just needed to vent, to reflect, and to figure out how to make sure I don't do the same to others. Because aren't we all guilty at some point of judging someone else for their wardrobe, size, decisions, etc.?

Okay, rant over, please go back to your regularly scheduled Tuesday activities. :)

Pants: The Limited (exact in limited sizes)
Shoes: Madewell (solid leather version)
Necklace: Kendra Scott (exact)
Watch: Fossil (blingy version)
Bracelet: Kreations (cute alternative)


2 comments:

  1. Sometimes family members say the most hurtful things and don't even realize it. I also have body image issues and have to make a conscious effort not to pass that on to my children. I love that you believe women should support each other (and I totally agree!). think you are awesome for blogging your outfits. I don't know that I would be able to!

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I think it's a case of those who are the closest to us have the most power to hurt us, even if they don't mean to. I had a friend of mine tell me about how she was posing in front of her mirror, examining her belly roll and saying something like "egh, gross." She looked behind her and two-year-old was grabbing her own little stomach and saying "GROSS!" She said it about broke her heart. Those little kiddos pick up on everything. My little girl is only one, but I want to continue to learn how to accept my shape so that I don't project my body issues on her. You're right, it takes a conscious effort.

      I'm glad you enjoy the blog! There's a lot of days I'm not thrilled with what I put up there, but I know there's a lot of women like me, on the larger size, and I think we too deserve to enjoy fashion and looking good. :)

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